I’ve literally gone through most of my life trying to fit in. I’m disgusted with myself.
Everyone has to make something out of their lives, don’t they? I’m sorry if my path strayed from yours as we grew up. But it was unavoidable by your choice of going to college and my choice of moving away. I wish it wasn’t so personal to you, that’s not what my intention was. I don’t know why you would think so. Your life is full and there’s no room for me. I’m alright, but don’t act like I’m horrible person because distance happened. And just because we’re not close now doesn’t mean you have to put me in the category of: Not friends. Just let life run it’s course. Let people and things flow. Don’t cut me off.
Maybe I’m not as great as you thought I was but I don’t recall trying to be great for your sake. Maybe I’m a good person but I’m just not good enough for you. I tried. I asked. I pleaded. But how much do you pry at something when you know it just won’t budge?
Show in Rutland tonight then I’m going to New York for the weekend. Moving a lot of my shit into my new house. Txt it lulz~*
I really need to start working out again…hard. I used to be so strong when I played rugby and when I was in high school. I took 3 gym classes my senior year. 2 of them were just study halls and that’s what I did with my time. I loved it. I’m kind of tired of people looking at me like I’m just some little girl. I mean, I don’t want to have the impression of a really buff girl who shows off her muscles. I feel good about my body when I work out. I don’t want to be skinnier. I just want to be healthy and strong.